Reasons to Recover

As I discussed in my last post, at times relapse can be very tempting, and I forget why I am even recovering in the first place. So to help remind myself, here is a list of my reasons to recover.

• So I can be strong. When I'm restricting, heavily depressed, or overly anxious, my body is completely out of whack. I don't exercise, and I feel sluggish, weak and awful. I don't want to feel so uncomfortable in my body. I want to become confident enough to truly invest in my body and in my health. I want to be able to exercise freely without my mind getting in the way. Being strong and muscular makes me more confident, and I want to gain that confidence back. I want to learn to do handstands and arm balances, and really push myself physically. I want to have endurance and flexibility and power. I want to rock climb and hike and swim and explore the outdoors without my body holding me back. I can't do this if I'm restricting, hospitalized, or miserable.
• So I can spend time with others. When I am deep into my insecurities, I can't really be around people. I'm too jealous and self conscious, and my thinking is so disordered that I'm just miserable around other people. I want to be okay with opening myself up to others, and I want to spend time with friends like a normal teenager. I want to go to social events where there is food or a pool without freaking out and feeling horrible. I want to let myself have friends and have fun for once.
• So I can pursue the things I love. I have so many dreams, but when I'm deep into my illnesses, they disappear. I feel hopeless, and believe that I'm not going anywhere in my life. But in reality, there are so many things I want to do! I want to travel the world, exploring and finding beauty and encountering different people and cultures. I want to volunteer in third world countries and help people (especially women) who are less fortunate than myself. I want to work at rape clinics and medical centers and provide people with the care that they need. I want to fight the stigma against mental health, and work towards getting people the care they need no matter where they live in the world. I want to volunteer at psychiatric hospitals and tell people like me that there is hope, that they can get out of there and pursue their dreams. I want to do so much, and in order to do that, I need to recover first.
• To have a family. I want to fall in love, and eventually settle down and have kids. I want a little house on a big property with three dogs, some chickens, and maybe a few goats. I want to bring my children with me to places like Haiti so they can see that there are people in this world that need their help. I want to bring them to Switzerland to gaze in awe at the mountains and Australia to see animals they've only dreamed of. I want to go to my kids' graduation, and hold my grandchildren. I want to spend the majority of my life with someone I love, bound together by marriage. So I need to recover, so I can provide for my family and let myself fall in love.
• For food. I want to be able to love food and nourish myself without guilt and pain. I want to go out to eat at restaurants and go to dinner parties and have dessert and feel comfortable around food. I don't want to stress out before going to an event because I know there's going to be food there. I want to be able to overeat without wanting to hurt myself. I want to be able to under eat without wanting to keep going. I want to have pasta and pizza and ice cream and chocolate and just feel good.
• For confidence. I want to wear a bathing suit someday without hating myself. I want to look in the mirror and smile. I want to approach someone and talk to them without fear. I don't want to dread the summer. I want to wear clothes that make me feel beautiful. I don't want to care about every stretch mark and awkward feature. I want to know what it's like to feel comfortable in my own skin.
• To put positive energy out into the world. I want to be a positive person. I want to be like Rachel Brathen or Jen Converso, spreading light and love throughout the world. I want to make the world a better place. I want to summon a smile in a second, and radiate love and joy in everything I do. I want to run to the hilltops and spin and smile and soak in the sunlight. I want to be so happy that I make others happy just by being around them.
• To be a yoga teacher. Yoga is so important to me, and it's something I want to share with other people. In order to become a yoga teacher, I'll have to keep eating so that I'm strong enough, and I'll need to gain the confidence to be able to be in front of a whole class and feel comfortable. It's a huge recovery goal.
• To love myself. I've spent my entire life consumed with self hatred. I don't even know what self love is, but I'd like to learn. It's got to be better than despising yourself day after day.
• So I can start saying yes to things. I don't want my mental health issues to be holding me back for the rest of my life. I want to be free. I want to say yes to opportunities that come my way, regardless of any anxiety I have towards it. I want to take each day as it comes, and stop living in fear. I want to do things that scare me, overcome my fears, and start living wildly.
• To watch the scars fade.
• To be able to look back and be proud I never gave up. I'm doing a hell of a lot of work right now to try and recover, and someday, when I'm happy and content, I want to look back on these days and thank myself for keeping going and never giving up.
• To share my story. I want to connect to other people struggling with mental illness and share my experience and struggles. I want to help someone else who is where I am now, and show them that recovery is possible, and that things get better.
• To be one year clean of self harm! This is a huge goal, and it's one I'm working hard towards. The longest I've gone is around three months, but I'm determined to kick this addiction to the curb.
• To go to the beach. Someday, I want to go to the beach and enjoy myself. I want to wear a bathing suit -- heck, even a bikini, and not want to cry or run away. I want to sit down and let my fat roll without covering it up with a towel. I want to run and play despite everything that jiggles. I want to lay out and tan because it feels good. I want to let people take pictures of me without running away and covering my face. I don't want to keep dreading the summertime.
• To be independent.
• For ice cream. For cookie butter. For chocolate. For nutella. For cereal! Cereal is a huge trigger for me, and someday I want to eat a bowl of special K red berry and smile.
• To go off my medications. I don't know if I'll ever be off my meds completely, especially since I'm on quite a few. But someday I'd like to go to bed without having to pop nine pills every night.
• So I can compliment myself and actually mean it. So I can accept compliments from others and actually believe it.
• So I can bake/make all sorts of vegan treats and feel good about it. I love baking, and I miss it. I'll still bake every now and again, but it's tainted with guilt and shame. I want to go back to the mindset when I was 8 years old and baking cookies. I want to be excited about what I'm making, and not feel out of control. I want to eat the treats and feel happy, but not go overboard and binge. I want it to be a positive experience.
• To be stronger than my thoughts and urges.
• To beat trichotillomania, and have long hair again.
• To be able to go to college and do well on my own. Right now, I'm right on the path to be able to do okay in college. But I wasn't always like that. Just several months ago I was in such a bad place that if I didn't get better, college would've been out of the question. I want to keep up the good work and eventually gain that independence.
• To feel confident about the future. Although I'm more optimistic than I used to be, often times when I look to the future I see nothing but darkness. I want to get rid of that toxic feeling and see light in the future.

There's definitely a lot more reasons than these, but these are a few big reasons to recover. I think maybe I'll make a part II to this that will be shorter, less elaborative reasons. So tell me, what are your reasons to recover? Share them with me in the comments.

Balls and Tangles

So fidget toys are a big part of coping with trichotillomania, so I figured I'd talk about two of my favorite ways to keep my hands busy. Pictured above are my Chinese balls (tee hee). They're heavy and smooth, and they each have a little bell inside of them, one higher than the other. You roll them around in one hand, and they make a beautiful noise. It also feels quite lovely in your hands, which is a plus. They're not really suitable for school or work, as the noise can be a bit distracting. But they're great for at home. I tend to pull when I'm reading or writing, so I play with these in one hand, and write or turn the pages with the other hand so that I can't pull. It doesn't make the urges go away, but it works pretty well

The next one is something that most trichsters have probably heard of/own. Tangles. They're plastic fidget toys that are really interesting and fun to play with in your hand. They're smooth or textured. and are good for keeping your hands busy. They come apart, they twirl around, they're just good, well rounded fidget toys. These are pretty good for being in public. The only problem I have is at school, or with groups of people, because tangles are brightly colored and catch people's eyes. Then everyone else wants a turn to play with it, and the next thing you know everyone else is using the tangle and your hands aren't occupied. I've taken to carrying two tangles with me for this very reason.

 

There are plenty of other ways to keep your hands busy (silly putty, spinner rings, etc.), but these are the two I wanted to talk about today. Good luck to my fellow trichsters.

Bad Thoughts

||trigger warning||

I am currently blogging to make sure that I don't do anything bad.

Today we had pizza for dinner, so I had a pizza with no cheese, mushrooms, onions, basil, and peppers. It was okay. I also had a San Pellegrino, which filled up my stomach. I was upset and crying over eating that for dinner because it felt so unhealthy. Then I had a "fuck it you're beautiful" moment in which I decided to eat a couple oreos (which are vegan by the way). Carrying the oreos up to my room I felt victorious. It was the serving size amount, I was feeling good, I was feeling excited. Then I ate the oreos. And now I feel like ripping out my hair, purging, and self harming. Not the aftermath I was planning. Since I'm typing, my hands are busy, and my mind is occupied. So I'm just going to keep typing until these urges stop.

I wish I could just enjoy a treat every now and again like a normal person. It took so much fricking strength to eat a few mini oreos and this is the result I get? Feeling triggered and awful and wanting to curl up in a ball of tears? Because of a fucking food I ate? I don't want to live like this. I don't want to be overwhelmed with guilt if I eat something that comes from a wrapper instead of a plant. I don't want to cry every time I feel a little too full. I don't want to ruminate constantly on how much I hate myself. I don't want to be miserable because of my body. I'm so so done with it. I'm trying so fucking hard to love myself, I am, and it's not working. I wonder if it'll ever work. I bust my ass every single day in recovery, and this is what I get? A balding head, fingers itching to destroy my well being, thoughts that cripple me and cause me so much pain. I'm so sick and tired of this. I'm so tired of being in recovery. I'm so tired of not being normal. Part of me aches to relapse, to break down and let the illnesses and disorders run the show. It's so tempting. So tempting.

But I can't ruin all of this hard work. I can't. This moment of weakness can't define me. I can't let it. Someday I will eat a fucking treat and get over it. Someday I will eat something without a second thought. Someday I will be confident. But as I type these words I don't believe it. I just want to fucking believe it. I just want things to be simple in my life. I'm so tired of being me. I don't want to live my life like this.

I'm so close to giving up. But I'm so far from giving up too. I'm not fine right now. But I will be. Or so I pray.

Update: School, Trichotillomania, Urges

Hello there. So as I mentioned previously, this week I made the transition from my therapeutic school back to my local public school! The week leading up to the transition was full of anxieties and worries. I was having panic attacks, crying myself to sleep at times, and I lost a fair amount of hair on the right side of the back of my head, which is really upsetting.

So when it came to the night before, I was a bucket of nerves. I felt a huge panic/nervous breakdown coming on, but somehow I managed to suppress it by going to bed earlier and just trying to block out all of the negative thoughts. I was really anxious the morning I started back at school, and I had a mini meltdown over messing up my makeup (silly, I know), but I made it to school without any other problems.

The day was overwhelming, but a huge success. It was so weird being back in the school since it's been almost a year since I was attending full time. It was almost like I stepped into a time capsule, and it felt in some ways like no time had passed since I was last there, which was both comforting and unsettling at the same time. It was a long day, as there was a lot more packed into the day than at therapeutic school, and I felt like there were a thousand things I had to think about. The day flew by, and before I knew it I was home again. Once I got home I did have a little breakdown, because I was so overwhelmed and I felt assaulted by all of the different emotions I was feeling at the same time. I'm not going to list them here, as I'll probably get upset just writing about it. However, I achieved my biggest goal, which was to get through the school day without a panic attack. And for that I am immensely proud. So that's all I'm going to write about school today, I'll do another post that's much more in depth. Changing topics now...

Trichotillomania. I don't think anyone can truly understand the emotional agony of this condition unless you've been through it yourself. For me trich ebbs and flows in waves over time. I'll have periods where I don't struggle too much with pulling, it doesn't occupy my every second, I'm pretty much good if I have a tangle or a fidget toy within reach. But then there's the awful periods where you're losing tons of hair, your fingers ache to go to your scalp, you can practically feel the hairs on your head that you need to get out. You pull when you don't realize it, and you feel consumed with frustration and anger that you can't stop, no matter how hard you try. This is also followed with an increase in both my anxiety and depression, which makes things worse. Not to mention what trich does to your self esteem.

I fully believe that acceptance is the route to dealing with many disorders, trichotillomania in particular. Sometimes I'm okay with acceptance, but right now I am far from accepting. I torture myself by looking through older photos when my hair was long and curly, or watching hair tutorials on YouTube. I look in the mirror and burst into tears because I just don't feel myself. I'm fully aware that acceptance is a key component to reducing pulling, but right now I'm really struggling.

My self harm urges have also been coming back in the past couple weeks. I'm over two months clean, but they're starting to affect me again. It mostly has to do with my awful self image and my trichotillomania. I crave the way it feels, the way it looks, how it makes me feel, which is awful. And I'm so frustrated with trich right now that I'm inclined to start self harming again, as it generally alleviates the severity of my pulling. I'm fighting the urges, I don't ever want to cut again. It's addicting, and once I start it's hard to stop. It's just been quite tempting as of late.

This has been a bit of an unorganized ramble, hopefully my next entry will be a bit better crafted. Goodnight world.

The Hair Dilema

So I'm starting back at public school tomorrow (crowd cheers), and there are a few things worrying me. Okay, a lot of things worrying me. But a big one is my hair.

Hair. Why do you cause me such distress?

Anyway, my hair is at a pretty good length right now in which I prefer going without my wig. However, I'm quickly developing a patch in the back, and one of the ways that I prevent myself from pulling is by wearing my wig. My wig can also be a big confidence booster at times. But the point is, I generally don't wear my wig consistently. It changes with my mood. And at the therapeutic school, that was fine, because everyone knew about my trich (the school only has like 30 kids), and they just accepted that some days I had hair and other days I don't. But at public school, people aren't quite as understanding.

I'm worried that if I wear my wig on the first day I'll feel obligated to pretend it's my real hair and wear it every day so that I don't draw attention to myself. And if I don't wear my wig, I'll feel like I won't have the flexibility to wear it when I'm having trouble pulling or when my self esteem is low.

It may seem like a tiny problem for most, but I'm majorly stressing about it. You see, I don't want any unnecessary attention on me. No thank you. So this is making me feel very conflicted. I'd love to wear my wig on and off like I normally do, but I don't want the attention.

I really don't know what to do with this one.

Jealousy

Jealousy is not an attractive quality by any stretch of the imagination, but it's a real one. It's something that most humans feel every single day, so I think it should be talked about as much as any other emotion. I think it's important to say that jealousy and envy do not automatically make someone ungrateful for what they have. Someone might be jealous that their sister can run faster than them, but it doesn't mean that they're not grateful that they have legs.

Jealousy is a big part of mental illness/recovery for many people, including myself. It can be especially intense if you suffer from body dismorphia or an eating disorder, although it's certainly not limited to those two illnesses.

For me, the jealousy can get so intense sometimes that it debilitates me. I will sometimes feel so awful about my body that I can't bear looking at all of the other gorgeous people in the world, so I'll stay burrowed in my bedroom. It's even gotten to the point where I can't stand being around my younger sister, because she's so slender and beautiful. I know that's awful, but it's true. Jealousy is a really frustrating emotion, and I think we would all get rid of it if we could.

When you're really struggling in your life, whether it's because of mental illness or other misfortunes, you often can't help but look at others' lives with longing. When your life feels so unbearable, the idea of slipping into someone else's life is so attractive. I know that when my illnesses started getting really bad, I felt like my life just stopped. Everything came to a screeching halt, and I was just stuck. And when I realized that everyone else's lives kept moving, it hurt. To know that others can just keep going when you're paralyzed is a horrible feeling. You can't help but look at other people who you believe have it "better" than you and just feel this overwhelming frustration and sadness. Then come the "whats and the whys." Why does she get to be so skinny without ever working out? What did I do to deserve this? Why can't I be as pretty as her? Why do I have to be the one who suffers? Why does she get to have long hair and a great body when I'm stuck like this? The list is endless, and being stuck in this state of mind is a dangerous thing.

One area in which I really struggle is trichotillomania. The majority of the people in the world have hair, and it can sometimes feel like they're taunting me with their luscious locks when I have none. It particularly bothers me when I see girls with long curly hair, because that's what I used to look like, that's what I should look like, and I don't. When I see straight, thin hair it doesn't bother me as much because my hair was never straight or thin. But show me some curls, and my heart just aches.

I know that this is not an attractive quality, but it's something that a lot of people feel, and I know I'm not alone in this. Below is a video by my absolute favorite YouTuber, Rebecca Brown, known as Beckie0 on the internet. She suffers from trichotillomania and depression as well, and her video reflects how I feel in many ways. The only part I don't agree with is when she says that other people cutting of their hair can frustrate her. I totally understand why that would bother some trichsters, but for me when I see women, especially influential women, with short hair, it emphasizes that you don't need long hair to be feminine and beautiful, and it makes me feel less of an outsider. Anyway, please take a minute to watch her video if you can, and pop on over to her trichotillomania channel, TrichJournal, for more trichotillomania goodness.

Dear Trichotillomania

Dear Trichotillomania,

We met when I was ten years old. I didn't invite you in, but you barged in anyway. You held my hand and told me that you were here to help me. Then you destroyed my confidence and my eyebrows. I hid my face behind my hands, drew on my face with a ballpoint pen, just trying to look like the other girls. You made me feel like a freak when I was barely a decade old.
You started to hibernate when I was twelve. You would pop up every now and again, but not enough to make any significant damage. I was ashamed of you, but I forgot about you for a while.
Until April of 2014. One of my most vulnerable times. My self esteem was shit, and I hated myself. One of the few things I loved about myself was my hair. And you fucking took that away from me. As if I didn't hate myself enough. As if I didn't have enough body dismorphia and self hatred. As if I wasn't already so self conscious that I barely wanted to leave my room. As if I wasn't in enough pain.
It's not fair, what you did to me. What you still do to me. You have made my life infinitely more difficult, and you pump shame and guilt into my veins. You took away my femininity without a second thought. You know that I hate attention, and you gave me a shiny bald head that attracted people's attention like moths to a flame. You convinced plenty of people I had cancer. You sometimes made me wish I had cancer, just so I wouldn't have to deal with you. You made me hate myself more than I ever thought possible.
You'll probably cause me more pain for the rest of my life. You'll probably cost me opportunities, and make me very unhappy. You might go away for a little while, but you'll probably never be gone. You might always be there, grabbing me by the wrists and forcing my hands into my hair. The more I try to resist you, the stronger you get.
So I'm not going to try and fight you anymore. You're in my life, and you're probably here to stay. That idea breaks my heart, but it's probably true. Most people that have you in their life will never get rid of you, and I'm probably among those unlucky people.
But I refuse to let you destroy me. I refuse to let you define me. I accept that you are here, but I will not let you take the wheel. I will learn to work with you, and in return I ask that you let my hair grow. Feel free to create a bald patch here or there--I expect it, but please, just let me have my curls back. Let me feel like a girl again. Let me look like Julia again. I know it'll take a few years, but please, work with me as I will work with you. I want long hair. I want a few dreads. I want to braid my hair and put it in a bun. I want crazy hair when it's humid and those days where I just love my shiny thick locks. I want what you took away from me. You can stay, but you cannot continue to make me feel like shit. I will not allow it. I never did anything to you, and it's time for you to stop punishing me for something I didn't do.
I'm going to start giving you the credit you deserve. It's not me that's making bald. It's you. It's always been you. And I'm going to stop taking responsibility for your actions.
I dont' like you. I don't think I ever will. I wish we could go our separate ways, and maybe we will someday. But for now I'll raise a middle finger to you and carry on. Because you shouldn't be able to control me like you do. I will be myself, trichotillomania or no trichotillomania.

Sincerely,
Julia

Things NOT to say to People with Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania is a very complex disorder. So complex in fact, that it's very difficult to describe to someone who doesn't have it. Many people who have trich or work with it even disagree on what it is. Some say it's an impulse control disorder that is on the Obessive Compulsive Disorder spectrum. The latest DSM definition (I believe) is that it is a Body Focused Repetative Behavior, or a BFRB. However, this is highly debated as well, and I don't particularly agree with it. It's so hard to classify even in the mental health world, so it's extremely hard to describe to, say, a random citizen on the street.

Here's my quick overview: Trichotillomania is a disorder in which the afflicted has the intense and sometimes uncontrollable urge or compulsion to tear out their hair, resulting in bald patches. People who have trichotillomania (often referred to as "trichsters") pull from a variety of different spots. Trichsters might pull from their scalp, their eyebrows, their eyelashes, their pubic hair, facial hair, and any other body hair. Trich is more common in women than men, and usually surfaces in a person's life when they are 9-12 years old. Often times people pull their hair unconciously, and they don't even know they're doing it It's often a lifelong condition that is very hard to recover from or cure. There is very little research done on this disorder, despite the fact that it affects up to 4% of the population. Trichotillomania is very highly stigmatized, and trichsters often suffer from a lot of emotional damage and distress as a result of trichotillomania.

Trichsters already suffer enough already, and ignorant/rude comments from other people only make things worse. So here is my list of things NOT to say to people with trichotillomania.

Why can't you just stop?

Don't you think we would if we could? No one with trichotillomania wants to pull out their hair and have massive bald patches, but it's something we often can't control. The urge to pull out one's hair is often so strong and difficult to resist that some trichsters resort to physically restraining themselves (tying thier hands to chairs/tables, etc) just to try and stop the pulling. And that doesn't always work. We try hard to "just stop," but it's like telling someone with depression to "cheer up," someone with anxiety to "calm down," or someone with an eating disorder to "just eat." It isn't that easy, although we wish it were. So telling us to "just stop" is showing how little you know about trich, and reminding the trichster of their failure to stop pulling.

Don't you realize that you're doing it to yourself?

This is one of the worst things that you can say to someone with trich. Yes, it's our hands that are grasping onto the hairs and pulling, but we would do anything to be able to stop. Placing the blame on the person, and not the disorder is like telling someone with cancer that it's their fault. It just doesn't make sense.

Have you tried sitting on your hands?

This one just makes me laugh sometimes. Trichsters try absolutely everything to stop pulling, and most of us can't stop it. Some of us (including myself) are on medication to help stop the pulling. We use tangle toys, we put band-aids on our fingers, we wear wigs and hats--we do everything we can to stop this horrible addiction, so yes, we've tried sitting on our hands. Again, this minimizes how difficult this disorder is. If sitting on our hands cured trich, we'd all do it.

You know one day your hair just won't grow back.

This is a terrifying idea to anyone, not just people with trich. Hair is often really important to us, and having a full head of hair is the ultimate goal for a lot of people with trichotillomania. So telling someone that, despite all their efforts to stop pulling, they will lose all their hair anyway is so frightening. It adds more fear, guilt, and shame to the situation, and is really not necessary. The scare tactic works for plenty of things, but this isn't one of them.

Doesn't it hurt?

Now, this is a pretty common question, and I don't think it's a rude one either. But it's something that trichsters hear really often concerning their condition. I won't speak for everyone with trich, but no, it doesn't usually hurt.

You won't be happy until you're bald.

Being bald will not make us happy, I promise you. Yes, I and many trichsters have gotten to the point where we have had to shave all of our hair off. Does it make us feel better? Absolutely not. This is just another one of those comments that are just not necessary.

Ew, that's so gross/disgusting/unhygienic.

I get that it may seem gross in your eyes, but please just keep it to yourself. This is just something that will not help the situation in any way shape or form.

You're looking for attention.

What? No! This goes for every single mental illness--we're not seeking attention! This disorder is something that causes so much distress and pain, and can even lead to bigger problems, like depression or other mental health conditions. Why on earth would anyone pull out their hair so that people would pay attention to them? I've been accused of this before and it hurts, a lot. This goes for self harm as well. If you see someone's scars or hear that they self harm, don't accuse them of being an attention seeker. Someone has to go through a lot of pain to do these things, and it is a serious issue, whether it's attention seeking or not.

You're getting hair everywhere, it's so disgusting, you have to stop pulling or you'll be in serious trouble.

Parents, please please try not to complain too much about the hair. Make your child clean it up, sure, but try not to make them feel awful in the process.

You're a freak.

Believe me, we often feel like freaks without you telling us. Remember, words hurt.

What on earth happened to your eyebrows?

Right now having perfect eyebrows is a bit of a trend, and believe me, the trichster knows what their eyebrows look like. Don't shame them for drawing on their eyebrows, for not having any at all, or for having patchy brows. They know what it's looks like, they don't need more attention.

No one wants a bald girlfriend.

I can't tell you how much pain this comment causes. You might be trying to motivate someone not to pull, but instead you're telling them that they're undesirable and inadequite. That's just wrong.

Are you a boy or a girl?

Honestly, who asks this? I don't care if you're on the internet or in person, do not ask someone this, it generally makes one or both of you feel really awkward or upset .

It's just hair.

Yes, it's just hair. It's also something that causes a lot of stress and emotional pain. If it's "just hair," then why don't you shave your hair off without feeling anything. Hard, right?

Your hair was so beautiful, why would you do that to yourself?

I miss my hair so so much, and this reminder would probably make me burst into tears.

You have no self control.

Again, very hurtful. Think before you speak.

No one will want to hire you if you look like that.

Thanks for the confidence boost. Now I'm not fit to work because of how my hair looks? How is this statement at all productive? Most trichsters have low enough self esteem as it is, and this statement will just bring someone down so quickly.


There's definitely a lot more, and if you guys can think of any, just leave a comment down below.

A few notes before we go:
I know that a lot of these questions or statements are often said with good intentions, and I'm not saying that you're a terrible person if you say these things. I'm just letting you know how these statements may affect the person you say them to.
Also, this is based off of mine and a few others' experiences with trichotillomania. I can't speak for everyone with this disorder. So if you have trich and you don't feel this way, feel free to let everyone know in the comments.