So I've been a bit absent as of late, and I do apologize for that. Things have been a bit tough this month, and I haven't really been posting anything, aside from tumblr and pinterest. My phone isn't working very well, and it often times refuses to take pictures or do what I want it to do, so I haven't been posting to instagram as much as I would like. To be honest, I haven't really felt inspired either.
So lets give a little backstory, shall we?
So at the beginning of this month (February first, actually), I relapsed with self harm after being almost three months clean. So that sucked. I also made the mistake of trying to keep it a secret from my parents and therapist, which made everything so much worse. I don't really want to go into details, but basically it's been a pretty sucky month. My anxiety has been through the roof and my moods have been all over the place. I did end up telling my parents and therapist about the self harm last week, and my quit date is February 20th. Whereas before I was actively hiding my self harm and not wanting to stop, now I am fighting the urges, and I've gone a week without cutting, which is pretty sweet.
On the trichotillomania side of things, I'm struggling. And it's unfortunately linked to my math class. I am pulling inordinate amounts of hair, the majority of which is done during math class, doing math homework, or thinking about math. I feel such a lack of control over my own body, and it's really been getting me down. We're going to try habit reversal therapy with my therapist, which, if I'm honest, I don't have much hope for, but I'm going to try. It's just so frustrating, because I finally have a full head of hair after being bald for months, and I'm always one step away from completely destroying it. Any bald patches I get are much more hidden, but knowing they're there really upsets me.
That's all I'm going to talk about for now, I have to do homework (math of all things). Have a lovely day, everyone.
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