Finding Faith

As anyone who practices religion can tell you, faith is not an easy thing. It gets especially difficult when you're going through a rough time, which is consequently often times when you need your faith the most. I've been a Christian all of my life, and having God in my life is very important to me. Faith is always a struggle, and it's gotten a lot more difficult as my struggles with mental illness took over my life. I spent half of this year angry at Him, believing that he just didn't care about me, that I'm just not worth any of his time. Other times I just thought He wasn't listening. And in the really, really awful times, I started to wonder if He was there at all.

Things have been improving in my life, and I'm gaining a new perspective on different things as I go through recovery and journey through life. One big realization I had is that I need to welcome Christ back into my life again. Going to church has been a struggle throughout this time period, so although I'm still going to go and recieve the Eucharist, I want to find another way of worship that better suits me. I'm not saying this as a replacement of going to Mass, just as another way to welcome Him into my life.

Nature has always been a place where I've felt the most spiritual. Not necessarily religious, but spiritual. It's as though I can feel the pulse of the universe in my fingertips and beneath my feet as I wander through the woods. Nature nd this earth is one of God's most beautiful creations, and it is something that has been of great solice to me throughout hard times. So I wish to take a moment of prayer every time I go hiking, or do something outside, for the wilderness is where I feel as though I am resting on the cheek of God.

I also want to start reading the Bible again. So I decided I want to start reading it at least once a week, and as I get back into the swing of things, hopefully it'll get easier and be part of my routine.

I know that not everyone agrees with religion, and to be perfectly honest, I understand. I know that I am sometimes bothered by some of the rules of the Church, and I sometimes feel as though the rules almost get between me and God. I'm only 16, and I'm still forming my opinions, so I don't want to say anything that I'm not fully educated on. That being said, I believe that we should all be women and men of Christ, and that does not necessarily mean a life of religion, no fun, rules, and denying yourself pleasure. It means a life of kindness, love, and joy. It means loving your neighbor fully, and thanking God and the universe for all that has been given to you. It means reaching out to God or a greater power when you are suffering, just as Jesus did. To a certain extent, being a child of Christ can be simple. Kindness, love, gratitude, peace, joy--all things that everyone can use in their life. I just plan on finding these things through Christ.

Hopefully this is an okay thing to post, I'm not one to shove my opinions down other people's throats, and I always respect the beliefs of others, as long as it's not hurting someone else. This is just how I feel today, on the 21st of January, 2015 (blimey, time flies doesn't it?).